Avocado FroYo AKA The Biggest Disappointment in the History of EVER!

I am mad.  I am furious.  I am seething.  You are probably wondering, dear reader, why I am so angry, what put me in this funk, and I will tell you.  It was avocado frozen yogurt.  "But you love avocado," you, dear reader, might say.  And I do, I truly do, which is why this abomination, this disgrace to both avocados and frozen yogurt has me so riled up.

I mentioned in my intro post that I am a frequent customer of the Minneapolis frozen yogurt chain Yogurt Lab, and one of the reasons I go so often is that they purported to offer an avocado flavor.  I was rightly excited by this, and every time I went to Yogurt Lab I did a prayer to the god of all things frozen that THIS would be the day they had the avocado flavor.

When I walked in on Sunday, lo and behold, there was the sign declaring that, with the pull of a lever I could fill my cardboard cup with delicious avacado-y goodness.  Without hesitation I strode to the dispenser and and let flow what I hoped would be the sweet, sweet ambrosia of the gods.  To keep it simple but interesting, I topped by beautiful sage green dessert with three raspberries and a pinch of coconut.

With glee I handed over my 4 dollars and 91 cents, scooped up my dessert, grabbed a spoon, and dug in.

My yearning a for creamy, green frozen yogurt was not based on naught.  One of my favorite treats to make for myself is to blend milk, avocado, and sugar to make what I call avocado juice.  In my mind, this flavor could transition easily from milkshake to dairy-based frozen dessert.

At first, I couldn't believe my tastebuds.  I chalked up the horrendous taste now coating my tongue to an aftertaste from the coffee I had finished a few minutes prior, and wrongly believed that the second taste would be better.  It was not.  This frozen yogurt was so bad it made me want to throw up.  It tasted nothing like avocado.  It tasted like rotting vegetables.  I couldn't let the frozen yogurt win, so I forced down the entire contents of the cup and savagely thrust the empty container into a near-by trashcan.  No I did not recycle, for if I cannot be happy then neither can our planet!

Yogurt Lab, you have betrayed me.  You lured me in with the promise of avocado frozen yogurt and hooked me with the deliciousness of your flavors such as Salted Caramel and Chili Chocolate.  You wormed your way into my heart and proceeded to rip it out and stomp it into the mud.  How could you, Yogurt Lab.  Don't be surprised if you catch me walking by with a cup of Chilly Billy's.