Talenti Chocolate Fudge Swirl (Crafted with Less Sugar)

Fuck Halo Top. Lol, wut? This isn't even a Halo Top review, but hear me out. There were 'health' ice creams, such as Arctic Zero, before Halo Top, but Halo Top added a high-protein gimmick and cute marketing and has steadily been capturing more of the ice cream market and I hate them. Mainly I hate their branding and message that completely centers around food guilt. Like, can we just not at this point? Eat real ice cream if you want to. Eat Halo Top if you want to. But let's all just respect and not police each other's food choices. Also, they have a shit product. I think I described their Birthday Cake flavor as like eating paper sprayed with birthday cake-scented perfume. Finally, I hate them because brands like Talenti and Ben and Jerry's now feel the need to step into the 'healthy' ice cream market. Urgh.

In an ideal world, I would stay away from these new 'healthy' options, but I'm an ice cream blogger, so I'm taking one from the …

Talenti Peach Cinnamon Peach Biscuit

Has anyone else noticed less and less Talenti on their grocery store shelves? Just me? A lot of what was once Talenti real estate at my local Cub Foods and Target is now given over to Halo Top (grrrr), and I JUST NOW found Cinnamon Peach Biscuit which was new last year.

Cinnamon Peach Biscuit is cinnamon sugar gelato with biscuit cookies and a sweet swirl of peach butter.

God damn Talenti and their weak-ass mix-ins!! I get that gelato typically as smaller, more well-distributed mix-ins, but Talenti's mix-ins, aside from their chocolate chips, are just so weird! The biscuit cookie mix-ins were small, about a quarter-inch in diameter or a bit smaller, and there weren't many of them, maybe one every other bite. If the cookies were decent, I could live with the poor distribution, but they were so dry and tasteless! It honestly would have been a better flavor with no mix-ins.

As usual, the Talenti texture was stellar - dense and smooth. The cinnamon flavor of the base was very str…

Klondike Krunch

I'm so close to trying all of the Klondike bar flavors! I have S'Mores and Cookie Dough in my freezer, and I only have to hunt down Double Chocolate, Rocky Road, and Neapolitan to finish off all 14 varieties!

Before doing research for this post, I was conflating Hershey's Krackel Bars and Nestle's Crunch Bars into one candy bar called a Krunch bar, but in fact Klondike's Krunch bar is their own version of crisped rice in milk chocolate.

This is basically an Original Klondike Bar with an added bit of crunch. There's not too much else to say. As with Original, the vanilla ice cream leaves a bit to be desired, but the chocolate shell has the nice, complex toffee undertones that really make Klondike bars special.

The addition of the puffed rice takes a bit away from the flavor of the shell, but the subtle crunch is a nice addition and helps the shell not crack so drastically. Also, I thought it added a slight salty touch.

I'll give these šŸ¦šŸ¦/4

I had a really …

Sweet Me Red Velvet Cake (New!)

Sweet Me was the first brand to have their new flavors hit the shelves in the Minneapolis market, which makes sense since they are based in St. Paul! AND they have SEVEN new flavors that all sound amazing. I picked up Red Velvet Cake as well as Lemon Bar and Apple Pie, so look for those reviews soon.

Sweet Me Creamery's Red Velvet Cake is Red velvet cake flavored ice cream with white chocolatey flakes and a cream cheese frosting swirl.

There are two elements that make up any Red Velvet flavor. A chocolate base (cake, cookie, ice cream, etc....) dyed red and a cream cheese frosting. Since the base is really just chocolate, when people say they like Red Velvet, they really mean they like the cream cheese frosting (or the chocolate/cream cheese combo). They may not know that's what they mean, but it is. Weirdly, I have never seen a 'chocolate and cream cheese icing' flavor. Somehow the red dye makes the combination socially acceptable.

Sweet Me's red velvet base was …

Kemp's Pearson's Salted Nut Roll

While researching Pearson's Candy Company, the St. Paul-based candy company who makes Salted Nut Rolls, I learned that they purchased the Bit-O-Honey brand from Nestle's in 2013. Bit-O-Honey are such a mystery to me. I'm sure you received them in your Halloween haul as a child, but can you remember which house gave them out? Can you remember ever seeing them for sale? EERIE.

Sorry for going off on a bit(-o-honey) of a tangent there, the ice cream flavor I'm reviewing today is not, in fact, Bit-O-Honey, but rather Salted Nut Roll from Kemp's. Salted nut rolls are definitely a Minnesota regionalism. They are salty peanuts stuck to a sweet nougat or peanut butter center. True story, I eat SO MANY Salted Nut Rolls. Basically, anytime I don't bring enough afternoon snacks (which is a lot, I'm a very hungry person) I buy a Salted Nut Roll from the vending machine. It has almost as much protein as the vending machine protein bars, it's only slightly higher-ca…

Kemp's Frozen Yogurt Shop Fudge Brownie and Cookie Dough

Kemps' ice creams really run the gamut of quality. Some are phenomenal (omg, their YO2 line) and some less so. Even within the Yogurt Shop line, there is a huge range.  Sadly, Yogurt Shop Fudge Brownie Cookie Dough is at the low quality end of the range.  This flavor is

Chocolate and vanilla frozen yogurt with a fudge swirl, cookie dough and brownies topped with semi sweet chocolate curls.

Every element of this flavor was sub par. First, can we please just do away with chocolate curls. Almost without fail they are weirdly waxy and you have to be really careful you don't spill them everywhere since they just sit on top of the ice cream.

If your name is Fudge Brownie Cookie Dough, you should really, really have substantial fudge brownie and cookie dough chunks. I honestly can't recall if I got any fudge brownie chunks. I got a few cookie dough chunks, but they were SO TINY! Itsy-bitsy cookie dough spheres without much flavor. Teensy-weensy flavorless dough balls.

The fudge s…

Edy's Pumpkin Spice Latte

It seems like every year I get SO HYPED about new ice creams flavors and then I wait ... and wait ... and wait for them to hit shelves in the Midwest. It's mid-February for goodness sakes! So, instead of new flavors, I have a fall limited edition, Edy's Pumpkin Spice Latte. This flavor is coffee light ice cream swirled with pumpkin light ice cream.

Honestly, I was not excited for this flavor (which is why I didn't pick it up in the fall). Edy's light ice creams have a tendency to be terrible, and this flavor sounded like it had the potential to be very bland.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by this flavor. It was a legitimately good ice cream. It was thick, creamy, and smooth which is rare for a light ice cream. The coffee and pumpkin ice creams were very similar in color, but were tightly swirled together so you always got some of both in each bite. The prominent flavor was the spices, particularly the cloves, and the coffee added a nice, milky finishing to…